Tag Archives: Women over 50

Aging is a gift, not a set of restrictions

Aging is a gift, not a set of restrictions

While looking for what’s happening in the Women over 50 space online I came across articles telling me what I can and can’t do/have/wear. Can I tell you how tired I am of people telling women over 50 what NOT to ____________? (fill in the blank) Haven’t we earned the right to wear ripped jeans, ride a skateboard or own a white wicker chair if we want? According to many of the articles I read, among several other things, we should not do those.

PFFFFFTT!!!

I don’t want to ride a skateboard. I did try it in my 40’s and quickly realized that I was not destined to rival Elissa Steamer for the championship, but might be first in line to help an orthopedic surgeon buy a new Beamer! (Steamer, Beamer … did ya see what I did there?) I did, however, recently buy a white wicker chair for my bedroom. It’s where I was sitting when I read that I shouldn’t have bought it, and where I am now writing this post.

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I had just redone the colors, with a new set of bedding, a few pillows, and a couple of cans of spray paint, and realized I’d created a color scheme I’d been dreaming of for years. The only thing missing was a white, wicker chair. Within hours I’d found one on Facebook Marketplace, picked it up, and with the remaining can of spray paint it became the white wicker chair of my dreams … Voila! My dream room became a reality! It is bright, cheerful and makes me smile every time I walk in.

If skateboarding, princess ruffles, or ripped jeans make you happy, do it! To heck with what others say!

Aging is a gift, not a set of restrictions. We get to define what aging looks like … no one else! So, go outside and play or stay inside and read; wear all the makeup you want or none at all; color your hair or don’t; put boy band posters in your bedroom or go traditional; Embrace you!

Wellness is more than the food that you eat or the exercise you do. It’s about the whole of you. This health coach recommends surrounding yourself with joy & memories …

Love yourself!
NancyO

Nancy Oglesby Health Coaching would appreciate being considered for your next wellness program. Check here for testimonials and class ideas.

Goals Planner

Willpower & Discipline … Ugh!

First, let’s talk about change. It’s hard! By the time we’re 50 and older, we’re darned stuck in our ways, right?!

In order to make changes last, we have to learn about how to effectively use discipline and willpower. In his book, The One Thing, Gary Keller says what we need is a new habit, not discipline nor willpower. Toss in enough discipline for a short time, while the habit kicks in, and we won’t need to rely on it to continue the behavior. Think about it: You don’t use discipline to brush your teeth, make coffee, get out the door on your way to work, put on your seat belt or start the car and put it in drive. Why? Because they’re all habits!

As he points out in the book, “… who would want to be, ‘disciplined’ anyway? The very thought of having your every behavior molded and maintained by training seems frighteningly impossible on one hand and utterly boring on the other.”

Goals Planner
How many goals have you achieved?

What about willpower? Mr. Keller shares research stating that we have a daily reserve of willpower and over the course of the day, it is depleted every time we use if for something, regardless of how trivial. It’s a powerful thing, until it needs a nap! Kathleen Vohs, in Prevention magazine (2009) used the analogy of it being like gasoline in your car. Every time you start and/or run your car’s engine, you use some of your gas and eventually your tank is empty.

Willpower is the same … resist that donut at 8AM, the French fries at lunch, bite your tongue throughout the day, and when it’s 9PM and you’re relaxing … BAM! the ice cream or potato chips begin their siren call just when your willpower is at its lowest.

In The One Thing, Keller shares research showing that when our willpower runs out, we revert to our default settings. Understanding those settings is a step toward awareness but is not the answer. Managing our ‘tank’ of willpower is the solution. In the book, he points out several things that deplete willpower: Suppressing emotions, or impulses, restraining aggression, resisting temptation, trying to impress or doing something you don’t want to do. Some of those are obvious willpower guzzlers but taking tests and filtering distractions surprised me.

I understand that taking tests can be stressful, and as such, made sense once I thought about it, but filtering distractions was an AHA! moment for me. As someone with ADHD, I never realized how filtering distractions was one of my major guzzlers, leaving me exhausted! A couple of other things on the list rang true for ADHD as well: suppressing impulses and doing things one doesn’t enjoy are big challenges. Knowing that they guzzle willpower means scheduling them when the tank is full!

Other important factors in filling your tank include staying rested and healthy eating. Eating properly, and at the right time sets you up for success.

My willpower plan is to do important things first and try to set up meetings for later in the day. However, it rarely works that my mid mornings aren’t planned out, so when I get home in the afternoon, I take a 20-30-minute nap. (Alexa, set an alarm for 3:30!) That mental break, and energy charge, tops off my tank so that I can finish up the important stuff while still taking advantage of a reasonable bedtime.

There are so many planning tools available that finding one that works for you, studying your willpower’s timing and your focused needs, will probably require designing and redesigning your daily plan several times. Also, we change, and our priorities change, often leading to a new plan.

I highly recommend Gary Keller’s book, The One Thing. Read it, listen to it, work with it and see where it leads. There’s also a podcast and planning sheets. Check it all out here!

As always, I love giving presentations on wellness. Check out my offerings here, and check the calendar for what’s coming up. You can learn more about Juice Plus+ here for the simplest change!

Lifelong Learning

What Putting Together an IKEA Chair Can Do for Your Brain

Lifelong Learning

What does Lifelong Learning mean to you? Do you think of taking formal classes in person or online? Maybe you think of traveling and learning new customs and languages. What if I told you that every single day you are learning something, and when you get intentional about it, it expands and preserves your ability to think, create, form memories and hang onto them?

My mother always said that she’d always be of sound mind because she worked a crossword puzzle every day. While crosswords are great, if you’ve done one every day for 60+ years, it’s probably not much of a stretch for you. Now, if you tried to do Sudoku … that would be a stretch!

The key to keeping things fresh and exciting is to get yourself frustrated now and again. When I hear Boomers say that they have no interest in learning “those danged smart phones.” My response? It’s one of the best things you could do for your brain!” Getting out of our comfort zone and feeling stupid is exceptionally good for our brains as long as we push through.

Every time you push yourself to figure something out, like how to send an email, open an app, order from Amazon or send a text (to the right person), you are building new neuro pathways. For those who find technology easy, putting together a chair from IKEA or putting in a new doorknob or dead bolt might be the challenge. It’s about what’s new for you.

You know those things you do without thinking? Making the coffee, brushing your teeth, following the route to work or the gym every day? Maybe it’s the order in which you put on your pants or socks and shoes on autopilot. Well, here’s some happy food for your brain: change it! Yes! Move the coffee to another cabinet, put your toothbrush in a different space, choose a different route, and put the left foot in your pants first instead of the right!

Just like water, our brains use the path of least resistance, and that is the neural pathway that you developed early in life. According to Deborah Ancona, Professor of Management & Organizational Studies at MIT, “By the time we get to the age of 25, we just have so many existing pathways that our brain relies on, it’s hard to break free of them.”

When your brain is young, it’s much more flexible which makes it easier to learn, but even though we’re no longer 25, we can still learn, and doing so imparts great benefits. It’s about using your brain in new ways rather than the comfort of the pathways we created when we were young. If you use math regularly, but rarely read, you might want to build a habit of reading, and vice versa. If you love to read but aren’t comfortable delving into science or math, sign up for a class that pushes you to use your brain in a new way.

Building the new pathways doesn’t happen overnight. That’s why we often take on a challenge, then quit when we are tired or too busy thinking, “I’ll just do this the easy way tonight because I had a stressful day.” The new neural pathway isn’t deeply ingrained to stick, so it becomes even harder the next day. If you want to build that pathway, support your brains youthful plasticity, you must persevere despite wanting to fall back into your comfort zone. (Sorry)

Many colleges around the country offer classes at a reduced rate. In some cases, there is a needs-based assessment, but often the only requirement is that you are 50+ years old. In Johnson County, Kansas the Community College allows those aged 60+ to take credit classes for $16/semester hour. There is a special enrollment date, and you have to have a current admissions application on file.

So, to wrap up, give yourself permission to explore something new and don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen overnight. Just keep at it … your brain will thank you!

In Case You Missed It (ICYMI): It seems we all have a need to simplify, but how do we do that without losing the memories we’ve attached to our precious things? Check it out here!

And, if you’d like to check out what the blog is about, what categories I’m going to include, and why, check out the blog introduction here.

Let’s Simplify! The 50+ Downsizing Plan … Book of Memories

You’re over 50 so I know you’ve collected a few things in your life. You might be like my friend who has saved ticket stubs and playbills from every concert and performance she’s attended, you might have saved every dog collar or your children’s toys, or you might be like me and have some of your children’s artwork, a few of your parent’s items, jewelry or even furniture. There are also the things you’ve collected as well. For example, I have a peace dove necklace that was purchased in 1970 at the San Jose flea market.

The necklace has a story attached to it … everything we collect has a story attached to it, every ticket and playbill of my friends and every dog collar or child’s toy. You see, the things we collect mark our memories. But, and this is the important part, they aren’t our memories. With or without the item, we have our memories.

As you think about simplifying, consider leaving a book of memories. Your family might not be interested now but they, or the next generation, will be curious one day. I have a ceramic bull that was in my home growing up. It’s anatomically correct. (yeah, weird) I would love to know the story behind it, and the conversations it provoked, but I never will.

Our stories die with us. We can change that and simplify at the same time. A book of memories is a way to hold onto the memories, not the items. Not just holding onto them but sharing them. Imagine how free your space will feel when you give some of your things to your kids or grandkids. Don’t be surprised by what they don’t want. When that’s the case, donate!

If you are supporting aging parents, this is a great way for you to honor them and build their legacy. Ask them about the things they’ve surrounded themselves with, and if they’re having to consolidate, offer to create a book of memories for them.

Here is how I am creating mine. It is both on the computer and printed (put together in a binder with sheet protectors). If I get super motivated, I might send it out to be bound into a book, but for now, the important thing is to start recording. An excerpt:

This peace dove necklace was purchased at the San Jose Flea Market in 1970 when I visited with my friend, Gary.

I thought I was the coolest, hippy chick! The reality? I was a 21-year-old mom of a 3-year-old, living a very un-hippy life back in Mundelein, Illinois. (That miniature golf outfit … 100% polyester worn with dark suede Minnetonka moccasins!

But, my heart? Totally hippy chick!

You probably remember some of my favorite music:  Woodstock, Mad Dogs & Englishmen, Jethro Tull’s Songs from the Wood, Revolution by the Beatles, and artists galore including, Peter, Paul and Mary, Simon and Garfunkel, Joan Baez, John Lennon and George Harrison. That list is endless! And of course, you couldn’t play with toy guns or soldiers and we had tie-dyed tees, black light love posters and India print bedspreads!

(When I put it all together, I’ll add more about Gary, but not for y’all.) 😉

When I no longer wear the necklace, I’ll be able to give it to one of my kids without regret, because the memory will live on in my book. I imagine myself, when I am less able to get out and about, and my space is much smaller, being able to bring out my book of memories. It will make me smile to know that my grandkids won’t wonder where the anatomically correct bull came from because that will be in there too.

What will your book look like? I’d love for you to share a story or two in the comments!

Here’s to Women over 50!

Introducing you to my blog’s new focus on the maturing woman, the woman in transition:

  • A new empty nester,
  • a widow,
  • a divorcee,
  • being downsized, or
  • flat-out fired or
  • none of the above.

Maybe you’re just looking for a reboot and you don’t even know why … Welcome!

What is it that happens to us when we hit that number? Maybe for you it was 50, for someone else it might have been 55 or 65. Whatever the age, every woman I’ve ever met, has an age where they start to reassess their life, and most importantly, the life they envision going forward.

Before I started, I wanted to know if I was on the right track, if I what I thought women wanted was even close. After all, I’m just one maturing woman, so I asked around. I asked on Facebook, LinkedIn and Next Door. I asked friends and colleagues. Here’s what they said:

  • peace of mind
  • even keel
  • simplicity
  • spiritual life
  • weight loss
  • worry and stress free
  • and the award for the most popular answer goes to, “A secret man that sneaks into the house and cleans while I sleep.”

I’ve identified a few categories that I think will cover most of it, but I’m happy to add to it if you think of something else:

  1. Emotional
  2. Physical
  3. Environment
  4. Spirituality
  5. Finances
  6. Relationships
  7. Social Life
  8. Lifelong Learning

So, we’re going to start the journey on Monday, July 22nd with a post from the Environment category: Simplify. I hope you’ll join me!

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